Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Where's My Green Zebra?

I was talking to my mom today about some young guy who's after her. If you know me in real life, then you know that my mother tends to date younger, while I tend to date older. This is in no way on purpose on our parts, it's just how it happens.
Anyway, I told her that at least someone was after her, whereas I haven't really been hit on in I don't know when. C says that I tend to be pretty oblivious to when someone is interested in me, cause she's seen it happen. But at the same time, if they don't have the balls to ask me out or anything, do I want to date them anyway? Probably not, but it would at least be nice to be asked. So mom said that it wasn't me (which I know) but that Fayetteville was the Bermuda Triangle of dating. And you know, I have to really agree with her. It's not that way for everybody but for me, definitely. And it blows.

So I wrote the above yesterday when I was feeling kinda not so great. I'm feeling better now. This article is really great and really spoke to me- http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-dater-x-rewriting-the-story/

I've been more single than not for the last few years and while I've dated some people that have potential, I've learned so much from all those relationships that didn't work out. Like what I really want in life and love and what I will and will not put up with. It's easy to be complacent but very hard to truly look deep inside yourself and acknowledge what you want and need and deserve. Especially for me because I think in some ways I'm not deserving of something amazing. Yes, I want to fall in love and make babies and have a happy little life (and yes I know it's not that simple) but at the same time, I have learned so much about myself that I wouldn't trade for anything what I've gone through because it's made me so much better as a person. I definitely have a different perspective on men and women and relationships. It's hard for me to just let things happen because, like the control freak that I am, I like everything to go the way it's supposed to go (which is my way in case you didn't know). I've really just now settled in to myself and I'm enjoying it. I would prefer to find my green zebra sooner rather than later but I just keep reminding myself that I have plenty of time.