Saturday, April 23, 2011

Always Alone

People always seem to think that I am "so busy" and have "so many friends". Neither of these things is true. I am at work Monday through Friday 8am to 5pm and that takes up the bulk of my time. Derby practice three times a week that I attend roughly 75% of the time (except not so much here lately because of my fucking ankle). But really......I spend much of my time alone. I don't have people calling or texting me at all hours of the day and night or very much at all really. I am not that person that everyone wants to be friends with or wants to hang out with.I don't have a lot of friends, I just know a lot of people. My supposed best friends are busy with lots of other things that don't include me. All of my friends are coupled up and while theoretically I'm happy for them it means less time for me. I feel like the awkward third wheel on the odd occasion when I do hang out with them. I feel lonely and alone most of the time and there's just not much about my life or myself that I like right now. Maybe I'm just too much work for most people to be regular friends with or I have too high of expectations of friendship or something. I really just don't know.

6 comments:

Hannah said...

I love you!

DJ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Natalie said...

You can be a lot of work, but you've always been worth it.

Cam or Zilla said...

Thanks :)

The Clash at Demonhead said...

Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better.

~ Henry Rollins, b. 1961

Vincent said...

This is how I totally feel. Every letter.