Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Everything Old is New Again

Oh how I love springtime and summer, sunny skies and blooming flowers. This is a good time of year to meet me if you don't already know because I am invariably in a good mood. Regular sunlight does that to me.

The other night I dreamed that I was in NYC visiting M. We were on the subway with some other people who I knew in the dream but don't know who they are in real life. It made me miss M a little more than I already do, and the city just a little bit. I'd like to make a trip up there this summer but I don't know if I can swing that. Oh well. I think she'll be coming down to visit sometime this summer. Maybe we can rendezvous in Memphis at some point if not the 'ville. WFTDA nationals are in Chicago this year in October- we'll see each other there if nothing else.

So C and I are dating again. We've remained friends through all of this and I really enjoy spending time with her. We both dated other people which made us appreciate each other more. I also think we have better ideas about what we want from a relationship and each other. I've been resisting this for awhile, my main concern being that I would end up breaking her heart. That could still happen though I really hope it won't. My mom pointed out that C is an adult and she can make her own decisions regardless of how I feel about them. I'm trying to work on my tendency to run at the first sign of trouble. I think it's good I did in this situation because we wouldn't have otherwise learned the things we did.

I haven't gotten any texts or phone calls from R here lately but I know that this post will probably result in me getting more. See, he reads this but doesn't comment. He prefers to send me nasty texts messages  instead.I don't have many deal breakers but I do have a few and one of them is people treating me badly through words or deeds. When someone says things like " you need to up your prozac", that's taking something personal I shared and using it to hurt me- not acceptable. I don't want to be blamed for someone else's bad behavior. This is the last time I'm going to say anything about this or him. I can't believe I wasted this much time and space.