Friday, December 18, 2009

It Makes My Heart Hurt

My brother is  being deployed today for his second tour in Iraq. He's 22. My brother and I have never been close. I probably resented him from the moment of his birth, taking my place as the baby. There were times living in the same town we didn't see or talk to each other for months. Over the last few years however, we've gotten closer and I definitely appreciate him more and I like to think he appreciates me too.

I can't comment on my brother as a husband or son or friend. He's improved as a sibling. But one thing I can say, is that he adores his daughter, my niece. She is the image of him as a toddler but with more my personality. I love her with all my heart and I know he does too. I can't imagine in what world deploying a unit right before Christmas is a good idea. He will miss L's first Christmas, her first birthday, and her first steps. This is not a world that I like living in. I'm fairly liberal. I'm not pro-military but I don't blame the soldiers that are doing a job because they're not in charge. The army has been the best thing that ever happened to my brother if only because it gave him a new and much needed perspective on life.

My thoughts and prayers for this new year are only that my brother come home to his family safely, all in one piece, with everything that he left with.